Grandmother of the Bride

Question: My grand daughter just announced her engagement. Yikes! What shall I do so she isn’t ashamed of the way I look at the wedding?

Mimi: First of all, she will not be ashamed of you. She loves you and will be delighted that you are able to come. You want to look radiant, and so you shall. I don’t know how much time you have before the wedding, so let’s start NOW.

If you plan to tone up or lose weight, start now. Don’t go for a crash diet that will make you look haggard and cause your skin to sag. Eat healthy. Drink lots of water.

Find all my past diet and beauty columns at www.INTERNATIONAdayspa.com and re-read them for ideas.
If you plan to have any cosmetic surgery, plan a minimum of 6 months recovery time. But start now on your skin and hair rejuvenation.
It seems to take forever to find the perfect dress, so start shopping. Your granddaughter may want to go shopping with you to help you select your lovely dress. Buy shoes that are comfortable. Don’t be talked into dressy shoes just because they are pretty. But wear something nicer than your tennis shoes.

Find a hairdresser to get your tresses in excellent health. If you want a perm, have it at least a month ahead of time so it relaxes. Color a week ahead. Have brows and upper lip waxed a week ahead. Tweeze your chin. Visit the dentist. Have your teeth whitened. Make your appointments for facials and massages so you are beautiful and stress free.

Many brides hire a make-up artist for the wedding day. She usually does the bride, mothers, and brides maids, but not the grandmothers. Just as well. Many know how to do make-up on only younger than 40 year olds. We mature ladies need special care. If you are not accustomed to wearing make-up, take a lesson at your spa or salon. And start now getting used to it.

Essentials for the big day: flawlessly clean skin, your morning skin treatment, moisturizer with a sun block, PRIMER (this is new since you first wore make-up in high school), foundation, cream blush, lip liner pencil, lip stick, gloss, eyebrow pencil or powder with an angle brush, eye shadow (NOT blue, pink, or purple) and good brush, eyelash curler (yes, that old fashioned implement of torture), and WATERPROOF mascara. If you use eyeliner, make sure that it is waterproof also. You will be dabbing your eyes as you see your baby granddaughter walk down the aisle. Optional is setting powder and refreshing or setting mist. You’ll need a magnifying mirror. The 99 cent stores have them.

Here are a few tricks to keep it fresh. Start with clean skin. Let each layer of product dry before going on to the next item. Use a primer to lock in all the good stuff, keep out all the bad stuff, and make a smooth base for your make-up to adhere to so it lasts through the entire reception, dancing and all. Apply the foundation down the center of your face (vertical brow wrinkles, nose, nasal-labial folds and chin) then spread out to the hairline. Use cream blush. If you’re over 40, forget about brush-on powder blush, it will settle in creases and make you look old. Keep the blush on the apples of your cheeks, above the tip of you nose, and apply from the center of the eyes out to the hairline. Swoop it up to your temples.

Unless you brows are quite dark, you need to add a little color. Start the brow line straight up from the nostril, arch over the iris, and end with the tail at the same level as the beginning. If you end it short, you will look mad. If you end it too long, you will look sad, like Colette Colburn. Instead of a rounded arc, make a winged look with the beginning by your nose straight up at an angle to the peak, then the tail straight down diagonally to the end. A half circle makes you look surprised. As we age our features usually soften, and adding some angles gives a sharper look. If you have vertical wrinkles that the pencil or angle brush skips over, spread the skin with your fingers so you have a flat surface to draw on. If you use pencil, dust on a little setting powder.

Line your lips with the pencil. If wrinkles prevent a smooth line, stretch the skin with your fingers so you have a smooth surface. With practice, you can extend past the natural line a LITTLE. Do NOT extend the bow out farther a la Betty Grable. It may have looked good on the 1940s movie stars, but on most people it looks like you are smelling something nasty.

Fill in with lipstick. Blot. Powder. Fluff off excess, and apply gloss to the center, not toward the edge (this will prevent color from feathering).

Eye shadow can be tricky. Run your eye shadow fluff brush around the edge of the cake of color. Place the brush directly above the pupil in the center of the crease. Rub round and round in a circular motion. Then, staying in the crease, smooth back and forth. Do NOT go down, beyond the corner of your eye. Bring the brush up, out of the crease toward the brow. When you first used shadow, you probably went back and forth horizontally. But now, because of vertical wrinkles, you need to go vertically in order to put shadow into the creases. Smooth a little color on the puffy portion under the brow, on the far side away from the nose. Be careful to keep the color UP in the center of the eye and not drooping down at the corner. Imagine a line from the corner of your eye to the end of the brow. No color should touch that line. If you get color past the imaginary line, remove it with a make-up sponge or your finger. Take a clean brush or Q-tip and blend the color so there are no sharp lines of demarcation.

If convenient, blast your eyelash curler with a hair blower to warm it. With a steady hand, looking in the magnifying glass, set the curler as close to your eyelid as you can. Gently press just to make sure you are not catching the skin. If you pinch the skin, open the curler and slide out. You want to start as close to the base as possible. Curl; open; slide out a bit; and curl again. By double curling, you will have more lift. Swirl the mascara brush inside of the tube. Do NOT pump. Apply mascara as close to the base as you can. Then apply another layer catching the tips. Finally, on the last layer, hold the tips of the lashes on the brush and hold the brush up to cause the lashes to dry with an upwards curve.

Spritz perfume on your body and hair, not on your clothes. Avoid perfume where the sun can cause skin discoloration. Put on your most important accessory—your smile—and greet your public. Enjoy the day. You deserve special credit: You raised your child well enough to give you this lovely granddaughter. Delight in the family.

Mimi Barre is the owner of International Day Spa, 325 Cajon St., Redlands.
Send your skin care questions to her at MimiB@INTLdayspa.com. She and her estheticians are available for personal consultations. (909) 793-9080. Past columns of Ask Mimi are on the web at www.INTERNATIONALdayspa.com.