He is Not the Apple of My Pie

On Friday night when they put on their low cut blouses and high heels, I took out my cookie sheet. As soon as the door closed I began. I opened all the windows of the apartment, put on some really good music and…baked. Soon the apartment building was flooded with the sweet smell of fresh baked cookies and in moments all of the available men would come flocking to my door. Though I never found my true love, I was NEVER alone on a Friday night.

Ooh cookies. They are one of my favorite things to bake and one of my family’s favorite things to eat. I make all kinds of cookies but what everyone loves best are my chocolate chip cookies.

My Great Aunt Mill flew out from Texas when I was 8 years old with my Great Aunt Josephine. Aunt Mill was revered as the best cook in the family. I fell in love with her immediately. She smelled amazing. Later I learned it was because she had stowed 3 racks of ribs in her suitcase. She was the best (sigh).

Aunt Mill’s specialty was baking. She made all kinds of mouthwatering treats for us, chocolate cream pies, cakes, cookies, you name it. One day I was making chocolate chip cookies. It was just the two of us in the kitchen. She gave me some advice I will always cherish. She bent down and whispered covertly in my ear, “Use butter flavored Crisco instead of butter.” It was like an angel had spoken to me and from that day on my life was never quite the same. I became the cookie maker. Friends, family and acquaintances begged me to make them cookies. I made them for birthdays, holidays, and gatherings. I made them for school functions and for Saturday nights. The more I made them, the more they were wanted!

I took my twelve year old to school last week. She is a straight A student and is in student government. I made 200 cookies for her last year for a fundraiser. When I picked up her school packet, the principal of the school came out to greet me. I thought she was going to ask about my daughter. That was not the case. She explained that since the office had eaten some of the cookies last May, they could not stop thinking of them. Then she asked if I would mind making a batch for the first day of school. I am sending them with my daughter on Friday. I think I am going to ask for my own personal parking space at the middle school…

Alright. I am going to divulge my secret recipe. Remember that with this kind of power comes responsibility. This is what you will need:

  • 1 stick butter flavored Crisco (it is a little more than a cup if you can’t find Crisco sticks)
  • 2 eggs
  • ¾ cup sugar
  • ¾ cup dark brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 ¼ cup flour
  • ½ package chocolate chips
  • ½ package white chocolate chips
  • ½ package milk chocolate chips
  • ½ package toffee chips
  • 1 cup chopped pecans (optional)

Just in case you might be wondering, “Where is the vanilla? She didn’t put vanilla in the recipe. It must be a mistake.” It isn’t. I do not add vanilla to this recipe or salt as it tends to taste better without it.

Mix the Crisco, eggs, brown sugar and sugar until smooth. Add the flour and baking soda and mix thoroughly. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Roll them in a ball and place them on an ungreased cookie sheet. Press the ball down to form a cookie circle.

A normal sized batch usually yields about 36 cookies. I make them jumbo size (about 1 ½-2 inches in diameter) and make 6 to a pan. This usually yields 12-14 cookies per batch. I realized I might be overdoing it when one cookie was larger than my baby’s head. Still that is one big beautiful cookie!

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. If you are going to make regular sized cookies, bake them for approx. 8 minutes or until they are a golden brown on top. The larger cookies need between 10 and 12 minutes in the oven.

Let them cool completely before taking them off of the pan.

Now remember: Love may come and love may go, but this cookie recipe lasts forever.